Chosen Child

Just wanted to say, "Thanks!"

2011-04-08T13:31:00.004-06:00

While recently attending the 2011 Ligonier National Conference, Embraced by Grace adoption agency held a drawing for the book pictured below. Much to my delight, I received a voice msg. on my cell during the last day of the conf. informing me that MY name had been drawn!

A number of months ago friends at church had loaned me their copy and I've been enjoying it, but it's so nice to have my own copy to make notes and refer back too as needed!

Twice adopted!

2011-02-13T21:00:00.001-06:00

It is my unspeakable joy to share with you that February 7, 2011 our Nina professed her faith in Christ as her Savior! She is now 'twice adopted'--adopted physically by us her earthly parents, and now spiritually by her heavenly Father! Our daughter is now our sister-in-Christ, and we have been encouraged and pleased to see evidences of her new desire to please and serve God!

"National Adoption Awareness" month ~ November

2009-10-30T19:36:00.004-06:00

Visit "Adoption 3:16" this month and enter to win one of several books we'll be giving away during November.

7 years later...

2009-09-18T09:28:00.003-06:00

...I'm still strolling down memory lane this time every year. It's hard for me to believe, but seven years ago today we were standing before a Russian judge, in a Russian court room presenting our petitions to adopt Olga and Nina!

Olga's High School Graduation (in pictures)

2009-05-16T11:00:00.004-06:00

To God be the glory, GREAT things HE has done!

The happy graduate!

Olga receiving the "CHEF (Christian Home Educators Fellowship) Scholarship"

Olga receiving the "Jaron Holliday Music Scholarship" from Jaron's father. Jaron Holliday was killed while serving in Iraq in '07--he was a local home school graduate, accomplished pianist, and lover of music. This is the second year the scholarship has been awarded.

Olga with her scholarship certificates.

Olga with her high school diploma from Grace Academy (our home school) and certificate from CHEF (Christian Home Educators Fellowship)

Nina congratulating big sister!

Mom and Dad with our graduate!

College Graduation--sort of!

2009-05-08T23:06:00.007-06:00

It was a rare joy tonight to watch our oldest daughter participate in her college commencement exercises -- a week before she walks in her high school graduation!

During her junior and senior years of high school, Olga has been attending college concurrently. In the spring of 2008 she earned her "International Language Certification" in Russian with honors (requires 20 college credit hrs. in target language).

In case you are saying/thinking, 'That's nothing, she grew up speaking Russian!' please remember that she has been completely immersed in English since Oct. 2002. She has not had the advantage living with family who converse at home in Russian--we try, but we are NOT fluent by any stretch of the imagination (although we do valiantly try for the sake of BOTH our girls!). Russian has been a part of our girls' daily home school schedule since very early on, but it still requires a great deal of hard work to retain a language you have little opportunity to use regularly. Congratulations Olga!

Happy Graduate!

Hmmm, the cap fits Nina, too! Someday... :-)

And now, for even more music...

2009-04-30T20:56:00.008-06:00

...this time courtesy of Nina!

(Ahem, haven't figured out how to turn this right-side up!! Close your eyes and just enjoy the music, kay?) :-)

Olga's 'Senior Recital'

2009-04-26T23:00:00.002-06:00

Olga and five other high school seniors study music (piano and/or cello) under the same teacher. So, we were treated to a very special "Senior Recital" and reception today in a beautiful turn-of-the-century home.

Fantasy No. 3 in D Minor, K. 397 ~ Mozart

Tarantella, Opus 23 ~ Squire

And now, for a little music...

2009-04-25T19:44:00.006-06:00

courtesy of Olga!

2009 ~ Resurrection Sunday

2009-04-12T23:00:00.000-06:00

Olga's Senior Banquet

2009-04-05T21:24:00.005-06:00

Olga's Senior Banquet was last night--mom and dad got to attend too!

The dinner was quite nice--in a private club/restaurant atop one of the buildings downtown--the fellowship was rich (Christian home school support group), and the memories will last forever!

Olga auditioned to play a piano piece during the banquet and was one of three selected--she played "Give Thanks" arranged with Pachelbel's "Canon in D". That's the grand piano she played in the picture above.

We've been 'counting down' since this time last year, but as we draw nearer to the end it just seems to be speeding up!

April Fools?

2009-04-01T22:30:00.000-06:00

Guess which university Olga was accepted to today? :-)

That's right, mom & dad's alma mater--Oklahoma State University!

Russian food!

2009-03-28T21:28:00.004-06:00

Our girls had a craving for Russian food yesterday, good thing there's a Russian store nearby!

Olga also bought some syroki, but we devoured those very quickly!

It's so neat to hear the girls talk about and remember familiar and favorite tastes and smells from Russia!

How is it possible...

2009-03-10T11:46:00.003-06:00

...that our Nina is a freshman in high school?

We recently submitted this picture of her for our home school yearbook--she's growing WAY too fast!

7 years ago today...

2009-03-07T19:25:00.006-06:00

(Update: 03/08/09 Olga received word earlier today that she has been accepted into the music program at OSU!)

...we received an email that would literally change our life forever--we heard about an 11 yr. old Russian orphan who wanted a family.

Today--7 years later--we took our oldest daughter (that FORMER Russian orphan) for a piano audition at the university where John and I met 26 yrs. ago. For now, here's a picture--I'm trying to upload a short video of her warming up.

Finding Jesus in a Russian Orphanage

2009-01-19T12:09:00.007-06:00

I'm overjoyed anytime I see/hear/read a theologically sound presentation of adoption--physical and spiritual!!!

Earlier today Justin Taylor announced THIS new book by Russell Moore, along with THIS link to an excerpt from the book--Enjoy! :-)

Nina, our RRRD - "Resident Russian Relations Diplomat"

2009-01-14T10:30:00.009-06:00

Nina with Ekaterina (14) who dreams of having a family.

Nina with a fellow-home schooler, a native Russian who did translating, and Anton (13) who "tries to be kind because God tells us to forgive and be kind."

Nina with Anton ~ if she could, she'd adopt a little brother! :-)

Currently, a group of 14 'older' Russian orphans are visiting our area through a 'host program'. We'd hoped to volunteer a good bit, but other obligations and responsibilities have prevented that to far. Nevertheless we MADE time to go last night and show the kids our support at their "Russian Culture Program". And, not surprisingly, Nina made some new friends, in spite of her fading Russian language skills--proof that a smile speaks volumes!

Read more of my thoughts on 'older' Russian orphans and this current hosting program HERE on my theology blog.

Olga accepted into College Honor Society!

2008-12-05T11:57:00.006-06:00

Olga received her membership packet today officially recognizing her as a member of the Phi Theta Kappa College Honor Society!

She was invited to join earlier this year after achieving eligibility requirements of completing 12 college credit hours with at least a 3.5 GPA. Which, she managed to do as a concurrently enrolled Junior in high school (home school)!

She continues to take advantage of concurrent college enrollment this year--her Senior year of high school--and is likely to have 46 college credit hours (some through advanced testing) already accumulated when she graduates from high school in May '09. She definitely is taking after her father in this area of her life! :-)

She's thrilled and we're very proud of her!

Olga's Senior Portrait

2008-11-17T08:27:00.004-06:00

Our Girls...

2008-11-17T08:24:00.003-06:00

...continue to grow and 'blossom'--too quickly. :-)

July 2008

Kids' World 2008

2008-11-14T21:52:00.007-06:00

Today our girls and I volunteered to work the Russia booth at the local "Kids' World" event--booths highlighting various countries and cultures!

Nina helping the kids color and make Russian flags--and loving it!

Olga writing the kids' names in Russian in their 'passports'.

Me, handing out info. sheets to the kids and sharing Russian history and trivia.

Olga's first car!

2008-11-10T22:04:00.001-06:00

Olga has been saving her money and is now the proud owner of her very own car!

Showing Christ's Love for Children in the CIS

2008-11-05T10:54:00.007-06:00

Please consider taking part in this year's Immanuel's Child program benefiting children in the former Soviet Union.

Just $25 will enable Russian churches to purchase and give away much needed items to children (Russian Bible, hygiene/toiletries, fresh fruit, clothing, etc.).

Slavic Gospel Association (SGA) has been ministering in Russia since 1934--long before many ministries dared. Please visit SGA's website.

NOT "born in the USA", but still an American!

2008-11-04T19:00:00.000-06:00

Olga got to vote in her first election today--and a "Presidential Election" at that! (Trivia: She was born in Russia while it was still under Communist rule.)

Fall 2008 ~ Cello Choir performance

2008-10-30T22:00:00.000-06:00

"Gotcha Day" ~ Six years ago today...

2008-09-30T10:40:00.001-06:00

...we legally "got" our daughters! We celebrate this day EVERY year by eating out or going/doing something special--this year will be no exception, but it's still a secret for now!

This photo was taken just before we left the flat where we had lived for almost a month! Pictured front to back, Fareed (our driver), Nina (our youngest daughter!), Olga (our oldest daughter!), Helen (our translator), Nelya (hosted us in her family's flat), and last but not least a brand new Mama and Papa!

And, here we are at the Yekaterinburg airport waiting to fly to Moscow--finally on our way HOME!

And, these are our girls today!

"The King" and I...

2008-09-19T22:00:00.002-06:00

...err, and my daughters!

On our way home from vacation we stopped at the Memphis Visitor's Center, and just look who we ran into!! :-)

The Many (silly) Faces of Nina

2008-09-11T22:00:00.002-06:00

This one was taken the first day of our 2008 vacation.

Counseling the Adopted Child

2008-08-10T23:09:00.003-06:00

I haven't had time to read the whole article linked HERE, but because I/we subscribe to the CCEF (Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation) Biblical Counseling Journal and have a great degree of respect for CCEF I decided to go ahead and post this link.

Readoption ~ 2008

2008-08-01T15:21:00.003-06:00

We spent part of our afternoon today in court--readopting our girls so that the state can/will issue American birth certificates. Their new birth certificates will have all the original information (Russian birth place, etc.), but will be in English and issued by and in the U.S.

FYI - we were given Russian issued birth certificates that list us as their parents, but of course they are in Russian with an attached English translation. :-)

Support and Encouragement for Adoptive Parents & Families

2008-07-29T08:18:00.005-06:00

If you're considering adopting, in the process of adopting, or have already adopted 'older' children, please drop by our adoption support blog (co-authored with dear friends) for some Biblical encouragement and support!

Adoption 3:16

Or follow the 'feed' on my sidebar.

I'm still adding stories (and pictures) to our adoption story!

2008-06-19T09:07:00.007-06:00

Here's a post (and pictures) I just added to our 'history', "Locks of Love".

Piano Recital ~ 2008

2008-05-02T10:25:00.004-06:00

Nina played, Journey in the Night, by Gillock

Olga played, Sonata No. 25, Op. 79, Presto alla tedesca, by Beethoven

Dos and Don'ts for Mother~Daughter Talks

2008-03-20T07:34:00.002-06:00

(HT: Purple Cellar)

Do be available. Often the time won't be convenient, but try not to show it.

Do be encouraging. So many people and situations discourage our children. Let them know you're behind them.

Do be interested. They'll never relate to our world until we've learned to relate to theirs.

Do be observant. Know your daughter well. A lot of communication can be nonverbal. Be sensitive to where she is today.

Do be understanding. Look at your daughter's world and the world at large through her eyes.

Don't be inappropriately angry. When we display our anger in an unhealthy way, the light switch seems to turn off quickly. Communication has ended.

Don't be exasperating. We need to have realistic expectations for our daughter.

Don't be impatient. Growing into adulthood is hard work and takes time, with many trials and errors along the way.

Don't be obnoxious. If our children are not responding to our discipline, we need to find another and better way to encourage better behavior or thought. Don't let walls build up between you and your daughter.

Don't be unyielding. Sometimes we are wrong as moms, or we react inappropriately. Don't be afraid to confess your errors.

2007-08 Yearbook Photos

2008-03-18T10:35:00.006-06:00

These are the individual photos of Nina and Olga that we submitted for the yearbook of our local home school group (CHEF - Christian Home Educators' Fellowship). Clearly, our girls are growing up too quickly!

Our Adoption Interview Posted At "From Hope to Reality"

2008-03-11T09:15:00.003-06:00

Dan Cruver, Director of Ministry Outreach for Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency, recently asked to interview us on the subject of our adoptions.

Dan posted the interview today at their blog--you can read it HERE.

To God be ALL the glory--He has been so faithful and gracious to our little family!

Nina the Nurturer

2008-02-28T12:43:00.002-06:00

As I've mentioned several times already, Nina is our 'little mother'. As far back as our time together in Moscow, she's been mindful of things that need to be done--mostly by others! Ha!

But her 'nurturing' side has been blossoming and wanting to express itself in the form of pet owner.

When we brought our girls home we already had two (indoor) cats. Within the first year we added one (outdoor) dog--a really large one! Several months ago Nina acquired two of her very own goldfish. Now she has her eye (and maybe even her heart) on a hamster.

I may be wrong, but I'm thinking two cats and a hamster won't be a very good mix. Still, I love seeing this side of our Nina!

I've Posted Some New Pictures!!!

2007-12-26T00:01:00.000-06:00

Getting Acquainted During Our First Trip ~ July 2002

Welcome Home party ~ Oct. 2002

Mother & Daughter Tea ~ April 2003

First Family Vacation ~ Sept. 2003

Born Again ~ January 2004

Mother & Daughter(s) Tea ~ April 2004

Family Vacation ~ July 2004

First College Football Game ~ Oct. 2004

Sisters ~ Fall 2005

Family Vacation ~ Sept. 2006

Christmas 2007

2007-12-25T00:01:00.000-06:00

My Boast is in the Lord...

2007-12-20T10:36:00.000-06:00

...because only He can rescue an orphan, change her heart and make her His own, enable her to acquire a second language, and bless her with the desire and discipline to enjoy learning!

Olga received her final grades for this fall's college courses--she remains on the President's Honor Roll for maintaining a 4.0. Please rejoice with us at what God has done and continues to do--for His glory--in the life of a former orphan!

Christmas Recital and Party ~ 2007

2007-12-07T22:25:00.000-06:00

Today was the girls' annual Christmas recital and party! It's always an informal fun time of enjoying music and seeing how the kids have progressed in their studies! Oh yea, sorry about the great photos of their backs--it would have been disruptive to get up and try for a better shot!

Nina (far right) playing piano trio--that's her teacher playing for an absent student on the left! :-)

Olga (left) playing piano duet.

Olga playing during cello trio.

Olga (center) playing in trio (that's her teacher on the right!).

The Stigma of Being an Orphan

2007-11-17T22:01:00.000-06:00

In case you're interested, I recently posted 'The Stigma of Being an Orphan, over at my theology blog.

Gaining a Biblical View on the Adopted Child's "Early Life" Experiences

2007-11-14T09:37:00.000-06:00

Because we are adoptive parents of older foreign-born children, our theology has been put to the test in ways that most parents would never imagine, much less consider! :-)

Take for instance the fact that our children came to us already equipped with a "worldview" of their own--survival at any and all cost. Their worldview was shaped and molded much like yours and mine, but theirs had an interesting twist--how does one respond to relentlessly being sinned against by people who are supposed to love, protect and care for you?

Within the first two to three years of parenting our daughters, I came to understand that I had to remind myself that I/we were responsible for retraining sinful habits in our girls that were brought about by people OTHER than us! We often received the brunt of their anger and hurt that previously had been acted out toward people we never knew--and would likely never meet. Sin damages relationships, and our daughter's had experienced plenty of "damaged" relationships.

Recently, while preparing for my NANC exam, I read the following in the Christian Counselor's Manual by Jay Adams,

"'But,' someone contends, 'how can you hold a four-year-old responsible for the life style that he develops under the strong home influences of his childhood? For instance, doesn't extreme abuse by his parents disadvantage him for life?' Would not abuse cause a child so to deviate from normal living patterns that inevitably he would become abnormal? Part of the answer to the question of permanent effects of extreme child abuse doubtless lies in the physical (organic) abuses which so often affect later life. Much abuse also may occur in forms similar to the types of communist brainwashing that combine organic and psychological factors. Here too, where organic damage occurs, the effects may be lasting.

While recognizing that any discussion of childhood responsibility evokes an undue amount of emotion from some, first, nevertheless, we must be bold to assert the biblical fact that God does hold children responsible for sin from the very first day of their lives. 'By nature' (i.e., that corrupted deposit with which they were born) they are declared to be 'children of wrath' (Ephesians 2:3b). They are guilty in Adam (Romans 5). In addition, they express this sinful nature by living 'in the lusts of their flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind; (Ephesians 2:3a). The extent to which God holds a child responsible may be hard to measure, but the fact that He does so is certain. David said, 'Behold, in sinful state I was born and in sin did my mother conceive me' (Psalm 51:5, Berkeley). Elsewhere he wrote: 'The wicked are estranged from the womb; these who speak lies go astray from birth' (Psalm 58:3). The fact of infant mortality in a world in which God has declared, 'The wages of sin is death,' substantiates this doctrine of the moral culpability of infants before God. They are both held guilty for sin (because of Adam's sin--cf. Romans 3:23; ch. 5) and polluted by sin. Their corrupted nature expresses itself from birth (see passages above) in acts of actual transgression. So, there can be no doubt about it; God holds children responsible for their sin.
The question, therefore, is not whether the sinful life styles developed by children with sinful natures in response to sinful influences or even acts of abuse against them are wrong or not. They are. Sin is sin, whether the sinner is young or old. Nor is it a matter of whether they are responsible. Again, they are. The very fact that children are not considered to be morally neutral in the sight of God means that they may be held responsible for making whatever righteous responses that it is possible for a child to make at any given age. As unredeemed sinners, children will fail to respond as they should. For this they are accountable."

Now, having read that, please do NOT loose hope! God, as always, has made a way--even for the adoptive parent who is parenting a "challenging child"! Go HERE and read about Godly parenting.

Challenges

2007-11-13T09:56:00.000-06:00

"My 'challenging child' is a challenged child, emotionally damaged by people I've never met and have no knowledge of..." ~ One of my journal entries dated April 2006.

One of the challenges of parenting an 'older' child is identifying and addressing the sinful habits/behavior adopted by the child in response to his early life of adversity, neglect, and often abuse. This is an ongoing process and no amount of psychological or academic testing will ever accurately identify the problem, much less suggest a solution. For the Christian parent, this means we must focus our attention, instruction, and correction on 'heart' issues.

Errrr, ahhhh, did I mention that building our family through "older child" adoption hasn't been easy?

2007-10-17T22:22:00.000-06:00

If you haven't noticed, I've alluded several times here that the "early days" together were "challenging". I don't intentionally down-play this fact, but I also don't seek to highlight it either.

Recently I had the opportunity to shine a "spotlight" on our early days together in hopes of encouraging a family struggling through their "early days" with their Russian-born teen. Here's an email (VERY LONG) that I sent while they were trying to decide if and how to proceed (the names have been altered to protect their privacy).

Hello D & L,

You and your family have been on our minds for most of the month...because we've been anticipating your return from Russia following your adoption of S...

So, earlier today I emailed K. asking if she thought it would be okay for our family to welcome you home from Russia at the airport--hoping that we could greet S.... K. graciously informed me that your time in Russia with S. had been challenging since arriving in Moscow. Her brief description of the struggles you've encountered instantly transported me back to our own challenges and personal struggles while in Russia with a VERY unhappy 12 1/2 year old girl--our oldest, Olga. And, how those difficult days continued through our first year home together.

It has caused me to realize that I may have done many people a great disservice by not sharing many of the details of our struggles in the early days. One wants to be so careful to not give others reason to fret or shrink back from similar struggles, and not imply that difficult times are inevitable, because, as you know, our struggles are not necessarily going to be the same. So with that in mind, I want to tell you that we understand and sympathize with where you are right now--physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is only by God's grace that we are where we are today--that includes John and me, not just our girls! Not only have our girls grown and changed, so have John and I, and that's exactly how God intended it to be all along. We've been stretched and pushed in ways we never would have expected and NEVER would have asked for!!

Because we went through some very dark days with our girls, I have a better understanding of what the Apostle Paul was saying when he said, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and God of all comfort, Who comforts us in all of our afflictions to make us capable of comforting persons in every sort of affliction by the comfort with which God comforted us. Just as we experience Christ's sufferings in abundance, so too through Christ we experience an abundance of comfort. When we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; when we are comforted, it is to comfort you SO THAT YOU MAY EFFECTIVELY ENDURE THE SAME SUFFERINGS THAT WE ALSO ARE SUFFERING. And OUR HOPE FOR YOU IS FIRM, since we know that as you share in our sufferings, so too you will share in our comfort...this happened so that we wouldn't depend upon ourselves but on God..." (2 Corinthians 1:3-9).

Like you, we embraced our daughters long before they actually became ours--we chose Olga before we received video or photos of her! Even after our first trip we pondered the quiet somewhat aloofness we saw(even on the video we brought home) in Olga. As a woman, I saw the guarded distance she had already established as a way of protecting herself. I even commented on the apparent annoyance she showed toward us during our brief visit with her--both John and I worked valiantly to communicate with her verbally (in Russian and through the translators) and emotionally. It was apparent that years in an orphanage and years in a neglectful family had taught her how to distance herself.

During the days prior to our first trip we were in contact via email with the orphanage director who knew Olga and some of her family well. She told us how scared Olga was becoming about being adopted, and how she may not consent to being adopted. We were very concerned and asked friends and family to pray that the Lord would intervene and cause her to make a wise and favorable choice when we appeared in court--we had no idea until we were in court and heard our translator translate Olga's consent. But, that wasn't the end of it.While in Russia during our second trip (we were there a little over three weeks the second time) Olga did everything she could to keep her distance from us physically and emotionally.

Phone calls from friends here in the states were spent with me often crying and saying how unhappy Olga was and how we were unsure if we should force her to leave with us. One very experienced and wise friend of ours (adoptive mother of 8 older foreign-born children--three of which are from disruptions) simply told me one day on the phone,"...you need to GET HER OUT OF THERE". Which, quite honestly is what we did--knowing that she was unhappy and our life was forever changed. How would we manage to love, train and educate such a daughter?

D. and L., I know you're in a very delicate and uncomfortable place right now. While in Moscow, we were at one of the Russian govt. buildings finalizing paperwork and all that John and I could do was stand in a daze speechless as we wondered what the future held for us--our comfortable childless, two career life was over, and the children we had longed for didn't really seem to care for us!

Once we got home our family and friends rallied around us in ways we'd never imagined, much less asked for! They helped us keep our resolve, continued to pray for us, encouraged us, gave us "date nights", supported our rules and guidelines with our girls (they need lots of that!!), and were patient with us as we got our family's feet on the ground.

As the mother, I was on "high alert" for at least the first 9 months, probably more like 12 months. I lost almost 40 pounds in just 4-6 months. I had no idea what our girls were capable of, or willing to risk--would they walk out the door, would they try to set fire to the house, would they be abusive to our pets?????? We made and kept some very firm rules in the early days--ones they now understand and appreciate, but clearly loathed in the early days. Olga outweighed me by about 20 pounds not long after we arrived home--they both gained weight pretty quickly when we got home, while I continued to lose!!Through all of this, we kept the communication lines OPEN! They were not allowed to "blow us off" when we asked what was wrong. They were not allowed to show disrespect (rolling eyes, sighing, etc.) because all of those behaviors had been their first line of defense in the orphanage with the care givers. For the first time in YEARS they both had accountability 24/7!!! I was there all the time--I was their "worst nightmare"!! And when John came home, he took up where I left off. I'll admit, he was the first of us who purposely helped ease the tension by finding ways to have fun and be silly with them, even when they didn't want to respond to his efforts. I had to learn how to ease up on them as they slowly learned and embraced our family values and practices.

Of course, in hindsight we can see God's hand ALL OVER those days--good and bad. He is the One who called us to adopt our girls--we wanted children, but He orchestrated the whole thing--and He is the One who has equipped us to teach them what it means to be apart of a family and how they are to behave. Clearly, the most amazing thing has been watching how God has softened the cold hard heart of our Olga. Fourteen months after becoming ours, Olga surrendered her life to Christ and has completely changed her outlook on life, her relationships, and her future. She is very much still an young teenage girl, but one with compassion and a desire to not only obey her parents, but a desire to please God by being what He calls her to be. It has been a VERY long and hard road, and we still have many miles to go in so many areas, but we can confidently point to God's calling us, and equipping us in ways we were, and are completely incapable of on our own!

I want you to know that you have our compassion and understanding regardless of what tomorrow brings for you and S. I also want you to know that you may contact us anytime you need some support once you're home... I know you have a heart for these children, I also know that God will give you the grace, wisdom and endurance necessary for the days ahead. Very Sincerely, Connie

Adoption and the Gospel ~ Transracial Adoptions

2007-10-10T14:25:00.000-06:00

How does/should the gospel impact our view, actions, and response to adoption? Dan Cruver has posted an interview with J.B. Watkins addressing this issue focusing on transracial adoptions.

In our own church (small congregation of about 120) adoption has become a very vital part of the gospel, with a total of seventeen children adopted domestically, internationally, cross-culturally, and interracially--by only seven families in the past eight years--to God be the glory!

In our own experience, adopting cross-culturally (Russia) had/has many challenges but over time the visible differences (language, culture, habits, preferences) tend to fade or disappear. Not so with transracial adoptions--how should the Church respond AND support these families as they live out and share the gospel before the world?

Olga is now a full-fledged legal driver!

2007-10-06T22:15:00.000-06:00

This was my response tonight (yes, I AM hamming it up!!) when Olga drove away for the first time without a licensed driver (i.e. dad or me) in the front seat. Yip, she got her license Thursday, so we let her and Nina go do a little shopping and see a movie while we entertained our dinner group.

I'm glad to report that both girls returned home safely later in the evening--and a bit "older" in some ways. Sigh...where has the time gone??

Christians, orphans, and adoption

2007-09-20T15:13:00.000-06:00

Back in April I wrote THIS regarding the Christian's spiritual adoption. Later in August, I was surprised and encouraged to receive a comment to that post from Dan Cruver, Ministry Outreach Coordinator for Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency

In Dan's comment, he said some things that I whole-heartedly agree with and hope more Christians will consider,

"...We are working hard to articulate the connection between spiritual and human adoption. We believe that the more people grow in their understanding of spiritual adoption the more they will consider extending the same kind of kindness to orphans (whether through adopting themselves, assisting others to adopt, or through mission trips to orphanages around the world)."

Since receiving his comment, I've regularly read his Carolina Hope blog and have been very encouraged by the thoughtful and challenging posts Dan offers on the topic of adoption--both spiritual and physical. I hope you'll take some time to read his blog, I'm fairly confident most Christians haven't thought this deeply or thoroughly on the matter of adoption.

Carolina Hope Christian Adoption Agency blog, "from hope to reality"

BTW, please understand that I'm NOT saying I believe every Christian couple is called or equipped to adopt children. What I am saying is God does call ALL Christians to care for orphans--in various ways at various levels!

Celebrating Meeting Our Girls Just Five Years Ago!

2007-07-08T22:00:00.000-06:00

UPDATED to include day TWO, July 13, of our first trip!

You know, it's funny, I've been planning and hoping to journal and/or scrapbook our adoption story for the past five years, but as it turns out I'm apparently going to "blog" it! Who would of thought it? :-)

July 8, 2007 marks the fifth anniversary of probably the most exciting and stressful 11 days of my entire life, because THAT is the day I received the call from our adoption agency telling us when we'd be able to meet our soon-to-be daughters! Just four short days after that phone call John and I were in Russia!

I plan to post a daily entry here using the actual date--for the sake of historic accuracy--through July 18 when we returned from our whirlwind FIRST trip to Russia to meet our girls and commit to adopting them. To make it easy for you, I'll provide the links below so you won't have to go searching the archives!

July 8, 2002 - ""THE" phone call"

July 12, 2002 - "First trip - Leavin' for Russia"

July 13, 2002 - "First Trip - Day Two: JFK to Frankfurt, to Moscow"

July 14, 2002 - "First Trip - Day Three: Moscow!"

Stay tuned, there will be posts for July 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, & 18th!!! :-)

Olga Starts College

2007-06-04T22:00:00.000-06:00

UPDATE: We are delighted to share with you that Olga was placed on the "President's Honor Roll" for maintaining a 4.0 in her three summer classes!

This past spring Olga was accepted by our local community college for their "concurrent enrollment" program. This program allows high school students to take college classes (for full credit) while they complete their junior and senior years in high school!

It's just so hard to believe that she's been ours for less than five years and now she's a college student--and a very GOOD student, at that!

Pictures

2007-05-01T18:51:00.000-06:00

As the clouds and rain have continued today, so has my "stroll down memory lane".

I've posted a few photos here:

Meeting Our Girls

Court Hearing

Farewell Party at the Orphanage

Going Home

I'm sure I'll be posting more pictures as I continue my "stroll".

Adoption Updates

2007-05-01T13:11:00.000-06:00

It's a cloudy and rainy spring day today--perfect for some quiet reflection.

I've been sifting through old adoption-related emails, and because this time of year always takes me back to this time in 2002 when we were waiting for our girls, I've been "strolling down memory lane" and shedding a few tears!

I've decided to post the "adoption updates" here that we sent via email to friends and family back in 2002. And, for the sake of historic accuracy I've decided to post them using the actual date they were composed and sent.

I'm sure there are more that I haven't come across yet, but let's start with these:

June 9, 2002 - We've found another daughter!

July 8, 2002 - THE phone call, "...be in Russia THIS Saturday"!

August 15, 2002 - So busy since our first trip to Russia

August 27, 2002 - Our court date has been set!

Piano Competition Results

2007-04-28T23:57:00.000-06:00

The piano competition was wonderful--so many VERY talented young men and women.

They divided the finalists into two divisions, Junior (7th & 8th grade), and Senior (9th & 10th grade). They began with the junior division and I was completely amazed! But, then, the senior division finalists played and I was blown away. Not only were they talented pianists, but they all carried themselves and conducted themselves so well.

And, of course, I was so proud of our Olga (she's the third from the right in the photo--that's her piano teacher next to her in red). Although Olga did not place in the top three (Senior division), she played her piece like we've never heard it before--several of the other piano teachers expressed their surprise that she's played only four and a half years. As a finalist, not only did she get an incredible opportunity and gain valuable experience, she was awarded a monetary prize for making it to this final stage.

This is just another example of how DH and I are "enjoying the ride" as being parents of two wonderful gifts from God--via adoption!

Piano Finalist

2007-04-21T15:57:00.000-06:00

Today Olga competed in her second full-blown piano competition at the Senior level--she placed as one of six finalists! She played two pieces, Haydn's Sonata in E minor-Presto, and Debussy's Girl With the Flaxen Hair. We are so happy for her and very proud of the hard work she has done to reach her goal!

Next week (on my birthday) she will compete for first, second, or third place against the other five finalists. We continue to be humbled at God's great grace and favor in the lives of our girls.

A little mother in training

2007-04-17T22:39:00.000-06:00

Ask anyone who knows our Nina and they'll tell you that she has a "heart" for service and giving--they're right! Nina and I have been working together in the church nursery and with the toddlers for about three years now, and she is clearly in her element!

From our first days together as a family while in Russia it was clear that Nina was comfortable being a "little mother". One morning while we were in Moscow on our way home to the U.S. we caught Nina on video tape informing us--in her best Russ-English--that Olga need to take a shower! This is particularly funny cause Olga didn't appear nearly as concerned about her own need for a shower at the time--little sister (not biological, mind you!) was already "taking over"!

During our early days as a family we discovered that Nina had been given the responsibility of taking care of many younger children in foster homes and the orphanage. She was a very petite eight yr. old when we adopted her--clearly too young for many of the tasks/responsibilities assigned to her. So, we soon found that we had to step in and relieve her of what was becoming a self-imposed responsibility whereever we were--at church, with friends, family, etc. Nina was a little girl who clearly had not had much opportunity to BE a little girl.

Now that she has had several years of being "relieved" of those duties, and she's now a more mature young teenager, it has been sweet to see her naturally gravitate to and prefer caring for and nurturing the younger kids around her!

It is truly one of her most endearing qualities--except for when big sister doesn't particularly need any of little sister's "nurturing"! :-)

The Piano Lesson

2007-04-07T21:39:00.000-06:00

Today our family traveled to a college town about an hour and a half away because one of the professors offered to listen to Olga play and offer her some instruction. That in itself was a very kind and generous offer, but this young professor just happens to hold a doctorate in music, AND happens to be a Russian native! Clearly there was very little question as to whether we would accept her kind offer or not.

I've stopped being surprised at God's providence in the lives of my daughters, but I definitely continue to be humbled by it. We became aware of this professor last fall through a letter sent to Olga's and Nina's piano teacher (who has literally poured her musical life into my daughters!) inviting young students to play for her, and even attend one of her upcoming concerts. We marked our calendar and looked forward to the concert--which was a good 3-4 months away at the time.

The concert day arrived and we made quite a day of it! With a dear friend along for the adventure, Olga, Nina and I arrived on campus in the afternoon so that we could enjoy the campus, eat at a popular restaurant, and be early enough to get choice seats in the concert hall.

The concert was wonderful and ended much too quickly! We had hoped to have an opportunity to maybe catch the professor in the hall before the concert and introduce ourselves, but that didn't happen. So, with the encouragement and prodding of our dear friend, I asked a man and woman standing near the stage if they knew how we might meet the professor--who was now back stage. The woman gladly offered to help us and began to lead us back stage. Just as she was drawing the stage curtains back she casually commented that the professor was her daughter-in-law. After being introduced and warmly greeted, the professor encouraged Olga to contact her in the coming weeks so that she could arrange for Olga to play for her and receive some instruction.

All that to say this, today we had the joy of sitting in the professors office while she instructed and encouraged Olga--using the TWO Steinway baby grand pianos in her office. Yes, I'm easily impressed I suppose!

This all may seem rather dull or uneventful to some people, but you can't imagine what a thrill and encouragement it was to a young girl who just four and a half years ago not only had no home, but never received any training in music--much less the time or attention of such an accomplished young Russian-born pianist! As you can imagine, this sort of attention and encouragement would have been rare for an orphan--no matter how "accomplished".

You know, it's one thing for our daughters to be treated kindly by Americans who know them only as our daughters, but it's a very huge matter to them to be treated so kindly by a fellow-Russian, so far from "home". I am grateful that God moves in the hearts of such people to show even the simplest kindness and devote some of their precious time (the professor spent an hour and a half listening to and instructing Olga!) to encourage our two girls who have so much to give in return!

Oh yea, the fact that the professor teaches at the college where hubby and I met is just "icing on the cake". Go Pokes!

The email that changed EVERYTHING!!!

2007-03-07T00:00:00.000-06:00

Five years ago today I received the following email (I've edited this version a bit for privacy reasons) from a friend. Little did she know that God was using her to "introduce" us to our Olga! Less than 12 hours after reading this email DH and I were anxiously gathering details and growing to love a young girl we'd never seen (not even a picture) and never met. Later in May we discovered our Nina--I'll be sharing that story in another post.

Dear Connie,

I received these emails from a friend on the (egroup) list. You know how we ache for these older children. Do you know anything about (adoption agency)? I am afraid that it would be quite a bit more $$$$ than (other adoption agency). ...Are there any lists that you are on that might have someone interested in this girl?...

Blessings,
(friend's name)

email she attached from a friend:

While we were in Russia, we met an 11 yr. old girl named Olga. She was born (date of birth). Olga is a strikingly beautiful young woman who desperately wants a family. She has dark brown hair and brown eyes. She is tall for her age. She has a deep voice for a young lady. The orphanage director described her as "very tender, shy. She is very attached to grown-ups. She is sad when she sees other children being adopted because she knows that it is rare for an older child of 11 or 12 to be adopted. She very much wants to be a part of a family. She studies well. She likes to read, sing, sew clothes for dolls. She likes to play quiet games”. We tried to find a family for this young girl, and there was a mix up... somebody told us that there was a family in the process of adopting her. When our friends returned to the orphanage in February 2002 to adopt (child's name)'s best friend, they found out that Olga had never been adopted, nor had anyone ever inquired about adopting her. (Husband) and I were crushed. Our friends videotaped Olga again. In the video she says that she likes to go to school and do homework! She said that she remembered when we came and took pictures of her and videotaped her... she said that we told her we would find her a family, and she believes that someday her family will come. In the meantime, she says, she will continue to study hard.

Our hearts break for this girl. We really want to find her a good Christian family. It will be hard for (Husband) and I to go back for (name of son they were adopting) and see Olga there, still without a family.

Please keep Olga in your prayers and help us spread the word about her. Olga is in (Russian city), and our agency is (adoption agency).

Please let me know if you are interested in hearing more about her.

Additional details provided:

Olga has probably not been placed on the data bank because of her age. But that would probably be done as soon as someone was seriously interested. That is how it was with (name of son). I am thinking that someone will have to go through (adoption agency) to adopt her. Although that is not a bad thing! Working with the American side of (adoption agency) can be frustrating sometimes...but I have to say the people they have working for them in Russia are top-notch...

I will be upfront... this is not an easy region to adopt from. It is now two trips and the 10 days is not usually waived. But in the end, it will be worth it to give Olga a family! I just know that God has a plan for this young lady's life. Please, if you know anyone who is interested in her, I have pictures and a video and some information about her.

FAQ's About Our Adoption and Our Girls

2007-01-26T08:07:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd start this little list of FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) since most of them don't warrant a full post. I'll add to the list from time to time as things come to mind--please feel free to post questions in the comment thread, if it does not violate their privacy (or ours) I'll do my best to answer it!

1) Did your girls (ages 9 and 12.5 yrs. when we adopted them) know any English when you brought them home?
No, absolutely none. My husband and I started learning basic Russian in 2000 when we decided to adopt from Russia. We started with a program designed for parents adopting young children from Russia, so much of what we learned had to be adapted when it became clear that our children would be "older". Still, the basics helped a GREAT deal in those early days together--that and LOTS of charades!! :-) Ask me sometime about "etta, etta, etta..."

2) Did the girls know each other already?
Yes, they were both under the care of the same orphanage (which was actually a "shelter"). However, being 3.5 yrs. apart they had vastly different experiences, interests and friends.

3) Why did you give them American names?
We gave them "American" middle names because we understood--through other adoptive families, adoption agency officials, and our Russian translator--that most children "dreamed" of getting an "American" name . My husband and I decided that they would KEEP their given Russian first names.

We had names selected long before we made our first trip, but when we arrived on our second trip (which was when we officially adopted them) Olga asked through our translator if she could select her own middle name--with the aid of the orphanage director, she had one in mind.

We have repeatedly encouraged them to use whichever name they prefer, but for now they prefer to use their "American" names. Within our family we OFTEN use their Russian names and Russian nicknames (there are LOTS of those!!) as expressions of affection and familiarity--friends and extended family often are puzzled when we do this without even thinking!!

4) Why did you have to make TWO trips to Russia and spend FOUR weeks there?
Over the years the Russian govt. has defined and refined their adoption process. When we first began our pursuit to adopt from Russia we expected to make only one short trip to meet, adopt and bring home our child(ren). That was in the fall of 2000, and focused on a different region of Russia. By 2002 the laws/guidelines had changed and so had the region from which we hoped to adopt (that's another post in itself!).

So, we were required by the regional Russian govt. to first travel to Russia in order to meet our daughters and declare our intention/desire to adopt them. We accomplished that in a VERY FAST 7 days--whoa!

After we returned to the U.S., the Russian govt. selected a court date and told us when we could return to proceed with and finalize the adoptions. During our SECOND trip we lived in Russia for 3 weeks in order to comply with the federal and local requirements.

I must say this, it was both exciting and very challenging to be virtually cut off from our native language and culture for such a long time under such circumstances. Still, we would not trade those days for anything! Our host families (we chose to stay with Russian families and NOT in hotels) were gracious and attentive, and our translators did a great job of showing us around and giving us "history" and "cultural" lessons along the way. Not to mention that it gave our girls lots of opportunities to see sights they had never been able to enjoy.

Christmas - Olga strikes a pose!

2006-12-25T22:00:00.002-06:00

Olga asked for leather gloves for Christmas--the bow in her hair was just an added 'bonus'!

Christmas - Nina and her beautiful smile!

2006-12-25T22:00:00.001-06:00

I snapped this shot of Nina while she was helping Grand-dad open his Christmas gifts! She often avoids showing her big smile for the camera--I'm so glad I captured this one!

Christmas 2006

2006-12-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

The Journey Begins

2006-12-16T23:54:00.001-06:00

In the fall of 2000 we made the decision to actively pursue—and stop simply talking about it—adopting two infants or toddlers from Russia. At the time I had my “dream job” as the Loss Control Officer for a multi-state financial corporation—still, the longing to be a mother continued to be my constant companion. My husband was enjoying his career, as well as increasing responsibilities and opportunites to serve in our local church. We both were content with our life together—which is sometimes a dangerous place to be! Ha!

At the end of September we began the seemingly endless process of requesting and gathering the necessary paperwork that is required simply to APPLY for acceptance by an adoption agency. Just three months later, in January 2001, we had been accepted by the adoption agency that was top on our list (local agency founded by a Xian couple who had served several years in Russia as medical missionaries) and our dossier was complete and on it's way to Russia!

And so began our waiting...

Family - 2006

2006-12-01T22:00:00.000-06:00

Boy meets Girl

2006-12-01T00:02:00.000-06:00

We met at church while attending the same college and quickly discovered we shared a passion for studying and discussing the Bible. Through mutual interests and friends, in just a few months we become very good friends—even “best” friends.

We married less than 14 months after we met. Within three months after being married, we decided to let God “plan and grow our family according to His timing”--and He did, however He didn't use my womb!

Why Russia?

2006-11-30T23:04:00.000-06:00

A rather smart-alek answer is, “Because that's where our daughters were!”

A shorter, but equally smart-alek, answer is, “Why not?”

And, the long answer is, there are literally thousands of orphans in the vast lands of the former Soviet Union. This is due in part to the on-going economic struggles since the collapse of the Soviet Union, and partly due to the lingering mind-set that the “state” is responsible and/or better suited to care for the children—remnants of Communist propaganda.

These children are turned out of the orphanages as young as 16, but most definitely when they turn 18. Many of the children turn to crime since they are ill-prepared to earn a living, and ill-equipped to transition from institutional living. A large number of the children turn to drug and alcohol abuse—if they haven't already embraced that prior to or during their life in the orphanage—many of the girls turn to prostitution. Sadly, the suicide rate of former orphans has been quoted to be 10%.

One significant factor in our decision to adopt from Russia was a new family who came to our church in the fall of 1999. We became acquainted with them and found that they were in the process of adopting a brother and sister from Far East Russia. They were going through a small local adoption agency that was run by a couple who had served for several years as medical missionaries in Russia—they personally had an exceptional reputation and their agency had an excellent track record. SIDENOTE: Due to increased “red tape” in their particular region of Russia, sadly we were not able to use their agency to adopt our two daughters. Still, they continued to encourage and guide us when we had to change agencies.

Welcome

2006-11-30T21:24:00.000-06:00

Through this blog I plan to share our adoption story! I've told the story countless times--I never get tired of sharing what God has done--but to my surprise, many people are still asking to hear the story.

I hope to organize the posts in such a way that you won't have to "wade through the WHOLE story" if you're looking for a particular facet of our journey. So, please be patient with me as I post the various "chapters".

Family Vacation ~ Colorado 2006

2006-09-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

"Locks of Love"

2006-06-01T22:30:00.029-06:00

Through the example of other girls in our church and home school community, both of our girls decided to grow their hair as long as they could so that they could donate it to "Locks of Love".

This was a huge deal to them because not only had neither of them been given the opportunity to enjoy long hair because of the serious hygiene challenges in an orphanage/impoverished environment, it was a personal goal they could set and accomplish that would benefit someone in need--a feeling they knew all too well.

For John and I, it provided us opportunities to encourage our girls to 'wear' and appreciate their femininity (older orphan girls often become 'tough' and boyish), appreciate the physical beauty God had created in them (something neither had been told or believed prior to being adopted), and the opportunity to illustrate/live self-sacrifice for the benefit of others.

What fun we girls (including a dear family friend who is fondly referred to as "Auntie") had when we went to the salon to donate their hair! I'm thankful for the 'special' treatment this particular salon gives (FREE) their clients who are donating their hair--our girls really did get 'the works' and were pampered beyond their dreams!

Here's a shot of Nina getting her hair washed while Olga and I watch.

Nina really enjoyed the special care and attention her stylist gave her!

Nina sporting her new 'do', and the hair she donated.

Olga's turn--look at all that hair!

Olga loved having her hair long, but was excited to get a new 'do'

Here she is with her donation.

Our beautiful girls with their new 'do's'!

Bar Mitzvah - 2006

2006-01-30T22:00:00.000-06:00

A friend of John's invited us to his son's Bar Mitzvah--complete with synagogue services, brunch, dinner, entertainment, and dancing!

I sewed each the girls a 'special' dress just for the occasion and gave them each an 'up do'--what night to remember!

Christmas 2005

2005-12-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

Sisters ~ Fall 2005

2005-11-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

During the 2005/06 school year, our girls enjoyed being part of the Tulsa Home School Choir--this was taken for the choir's yearbook. It was a great experience for them both, as the choir director exposed them to a huge variety of music styles and performance opportunities!

Resurrection Sunday 2005

2005-04-30T22:00:00.000-06:00

First College Football Game ~ 2004

2004-10-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Family Vacation ~ Texas 2004

2004-07-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Resurrection Sunday 2004

2004-04-30T22:00:00.000-06:00

Mother & Daughter(s) Tea ~ 2004

2004-04-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Olga's testimony

2004-02-03T22:30:00.000-06:00

(Posted Jan. 2007) With Olga's permission, I am posting her testimony here. I have chosen to post this before I share details of our early days together as a family--which were indeed challenging, and bear great testimony to God's providence, mercy and grace. This is the testimony she wrote herself, and read--with a heavy Russian accent--to the congregation of our church (Feb. 2004) before her baptism which was joyfully carried out by my DH, her dad!

Hello, my name is Olga. Most of you know that my parents adopted me from Russia in September 2002.

Life in Russia was hard. When I was 4 years old, my father died. After that, my mother started selling drugs to make money. She was put in jail for that, and I had to live with my grandmother and uncles. For 10 years my family had lied to me about my mother being in jail and that my father had been killed. They told me that they had gone to another country. My uncles started doing drugs and sometimes I had to help them give themselves drugs.

When my mother got out of jail, I went to live with her and her boyfriend. They would leave me all day, and I would fall asleep waiting for them since they usually came home around midnight. Often I would go hungry. I would cry all day until it was red under my eyes and my eyes hurt bad. When they got home, her boyfriend would sometimes hurt me and my mother. There were even times when my mother would hurt me, sometimes real bad.

I lived with my uncles again for a little while, but one day they tricked me, saying that I had to go to the hospital. After the hospital, I was taken to the orphanage on December 29, 1999.
At first I thought that this might be good, since I had uncles and aunts in the same orphanage after my grandmother died. Some of the orphanage workers were nice, but others were mean to us. They would tell us that we were trash and that our parents didn’t love us so they threw us away like trash.

Sometimes they would put us with a family. One woman that I lived with would use bad language with the kids and use us like slaves. She would often feed us soup made with only water, salt, soup bones, and would put bread in the soup. She was supposed to use the government money to take care of us, but she used it to buy nice food for herself.

Later on, I found out what happens to kids after they leave the orphanage. Kids are put out on the street around 16 or 17. Some have to beg for food and many die from starving and from the cold. Girls usually kill themselves, knowing that life will be so hard when they get out. Some of them become prostitutes and are often killed. Many kids steal for food and are put in jail and raped or hurt by the police.

In May of 2002, shortly after I turned 12, I tried to kill myself. Things weren’t going well in my life. I had no hope and was not interested in living. When I woke up in the hospital, I was so scared and I began to think that God would never forgive me for trying to commit suicide. I stayed in the hospital for 6 weeks. But then in July, 2 crazy Americans came to meet me and came back in September to adopt me!

When I was living in Russia I thought that hurting or hating people was okay. Even after I came to America, I had a cold, stony heart and I treated my Dad badly. But I also thought that if you did more good things than bad things you can go to heaven. When I was little, I tried praying for my mother and me, that God would take care of us and give us food. I prayed that God would give us a miracle, but it never happened. When I was 9 or 10, I was baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church, and I thought that could save me, but it did not change anything in my heart. After being baptized, the Russian church gives you a cross to wear and you always have to wear it because they tell you if you don’t wear the cross demons can be in you. I heard about Jesus and the cross, but I thought it was just a story.

I realize now that God used all of those things to prepare my heart to receive Him. And it made me realize that I must receive Him now because I’ve learned that there may not be a tomorrow. God has also used things in my new life in America to prepare my heart. When I first came to America I was amazed at how many people in my family and in our church loved me even though they didn’t know me. I thought it was kind of weird, but also pretty cool. Soon after coming to America, I found that I loved coming to GBC and wanted to be like the people here.
During the last three months I’ve felt so bad about my sin. I have been sorry for my sin and sometimes I would cry over my sin until I fell asleep. When I talked bad to my Dad or Mom, I would feel so sorry and this would also make me cry at night. When I shared these things with my parents, they told me that maybe God was softening and changing my heart. And He WAS changing my heart!

Two weeks ago I told my parents that I wanted to be saved. So they talked to me to be sure that I understood the gospel. Dad read me the book “Ultimate Questions” to make sure that I understood the gospel. When I first came home to America I read this book in the Russian language, but I didn’t really understand or care about it then, because my heart was still hard and cold. Later that evening when I knew that I understood the gospel, I asked God to save me!
Since that night, I have noticed that it seems easier for me to obey my parents. I also have a desire to be more patient, I enjoy listening when others talk about God, and I like to read more about God. I like to spend time with God everyday. I know that He has forgiven me for all my sins and has given me hope and joy and peace!

Born Again! (January 2004)

2004-01-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

This picture was taken at church the Sunday after Olga made her profession of faith--she was so excited to share her news with everyone, we all were!

Christmas - 2003

2003-12-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

First Family Vacation ~ Colorado 2003

2003-09-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Georgetown/Silver Plume ~ narrowgauge rail train ride

Nature sketching near The Loch in Rocky Mountain National Park

Mother & Daughter Tea ~ 2003

2003-04-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Our very first Mother & Daughter Tea (I've always loved wearing hats, Nina wasn't nearly as confident about her first hat wearing experience!)!!

For many years, I've collected china tea cups and saucers--simple, fancy, inexpensive, and expensive--how thrilling it was to allow Nina to choose a cup and saucer from my collection to use at the Tea!

Christmas 2002

2002-12-25T22:00:00.000-06:00

Our first Christmas as a family!

Welcome Home Party ~ Oct. 2002

2002-10-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

You can't see it in this picture, but we're standing next to our minivan which is FILLED to the brim with gifts for the girls from the "Welcome Home Shower" given to us by our church family. The girls were visibly shocked and amazed at the festivity in their honor, and the abundant gifts!

Pictures - Going Home

2002-09-30T22:00:00.000-06:00

This picture was taken in the Ykaterinburg airport as we were beginning our journey home via Moscow.

After a fellow-adoptive father (his wife and new son are in the background, along with another adoptive mom and her mother) took this picture he was approached by a very official looking (in uniform) person and told that he/we could NOT take any pictures in the airport. Whoa! That sure was sobering to us all.

Pictures - Farewell Party at the Orphanage

2002-09-28T22:00:00.000-06:00

This is at the orphanage during Olga's and Nina's "farewell party".

Olga let us know (through our translator) that she wanted to throw a party for the kids before she left. So, on that day the orphanage driver, orphanage director, translator, and our little family went shopping for balloons, fresh fruit, flavored tea, and some special cakes!

The kids had a great time and at the end of the party (and picture taking) in unison said, "spa-cee-bah! (thank you) with great enthusiasm!

(Olga is standing, fourth from the right. Nina is sitting, first on the right)

Pictures - Court Hearing

2002-09-18T22:00:00.000-06:00

This picture was taken right after the judge (seated) approved our adoption of Olga and Nina! The proceedings went smoothly, but had some "tense" moments! Left to right: Papa, Mama, Nina, judge, Olga, prosecuting attorney, orphanage director, social worker.

Adoption Update - August 2002 - Court date set!

2002-08-27T22:00:00.000-06:00

Please rejoice with us and give God ALL the glory!!! We received "the call" today and we have a court date to adopt our Olga and our Nina!

After almost two long years (Sept. 27, 2000) of much prayer, much waiting and wondering, we are going to get our children--our girls!!!!

We are to arrive in Moscow Sept. 14 and our court date in Ykaterinburg is scheduled for the 16th or 17th!! We will return Oct. 2, Lord willing!!!

Love in Christ, Connie, John, Olga and Nina!

Adoption Update - August 2002

2002-08-15T22:00:00.000-06:00

Dear friends and family,

So sorry we've been so quiet since returning from our first trip in Russia! You can't imagine how incredibly busy we've been!!! MORE paperwork, house projects, work, church, and life in general goes on!!! As a matter of fact, the project that we started only three days before we received "the call" (on July 8) is still going!!!

We had emptied the room that is now fondly called "the girls room" and moved all that junk into our living room and lining the hallway! What a mess, but we are making progress painting the room,etc. We are, however very tired of living with just a path through our living room and miscellaneous boxes lined up throughout the house! It is coming together nicely, just very messy and disorganized for now!

We shipped off our second batch of paperwork today to OKC to be certified. Hopefully we'll get that back early next week so we can send it off to Russia early next week. Please bear with us over the next few weeks as we work out all the details, I'll try to email you, but if I forget, our friend Beth P. will be our official "contact" person again this time. She will post updates as we are able to contact her via phone and/or email. She'll be able to keep everyone posted as to how things are going and when we will return. She'll have all the details regarding our daily plans and return arrival. If you plan to come welcome the girls home at the airport she'll have all the details. She'll also have a list of local motels in case our return is late in the day/evening.

We continue to receive good reports about our girls and understand they are anxious for our return and to officially become family! Thanks for all your support and encouragement. We appreciate your prayers for the coming weeks and especially for the girls as they (and we!) adjust to their "new" life! Love, Connie & John

Getting Acquainted During Our First Trip ~ July 2002

2002-07-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

We had only a VERY brief visit with Olga--three hours one afternoon--during our first trip in July. Fortunately, we got to spend the previous day with Nina!

Pictures - Meeting Our Girls

2002-07-17T22:00:00.000-06:00

This picture was taken during our first trip to Russia in one of the govt. offices while we were signing the necessary documents declaring our intent to adopt Olga and Nina. Olga is 12 and Nina is 8.5 I'm certain that behind those beautiful smiles there are lots of questions and fears.

First Trip - Day Three: Moscow!

2002-07-14T22:00:00.000-06:00

July 14, 2002 - We arrived in Moscow at the Sheremetyevo airport. I've got to tell you, looking out the airplane window at the landscape of RUSSIA was surreal, then arriving at the airport was like stepping back in time!

It's late right now (real time!!), so I'll add "the rest of the story" tomorrow!

First Trip - Day Two: JFK to Frankfurt, to Moscow

2002-07-13T22:00:00.000-06:00

July 13, 2002 (Saturday)- After spending a restless night in NYC, this morning we were up early and on our way to the JFK airport where we would board a Lufthansa flight arriving in Frankfurt, Germany the next day, Sunday. From there, we'd catch a flight to Moscow!

Having flown large and small U.S. airlines the Germany Lufthansa plane and service were beyond our expectations--really nice for the 8+ hrs. to Frankfurt.

We arrived at the Frankfurt airport VERY early in the a.m. and waited for our flight to Moscow. The airport was nice and clean and soooooo quiet that early in the morning. As we sat in a waiting area, I noticed a "beer house" not far down the corridor. I commented to John that we'd see how serious Germans are about their beer if they opened the beer house early that morning--and on a Sunday (I was raised in the Bible Belt, you know!!). Sure enough, around 7:30 or 8:00 they were open for business--what a hoot! We decided that we'd pass on the opportunity to taste real Germany beer that early in the morning!

When we boarded our flight to Moscow the plane was not nearly as luxurious or large--understandable--and we quickly noticed that we were apparently the only native English speakers on the flight! Even though we both have traveled outside of the U.S. and have been around foreign languages, this was the beginning of "culture shock" for us, and the beginning of our "reality check" as we neared our much anticipated destination.

First Trip - Leavin' for Russia!

2002-07-12T22:00:00.000-06:00

July 12, 2002 (Friday) Here we are in front of our local airport just four days after receiving "the call" telling us that we could go meet our girls! We departed in the afternoon, had a short lay-over in St. Louis, then spent the night in New York City at the cheapest (and safest) place we could find near the airport, a Comfort Inn! The flight for both of us from home to NYC was a 'gift' from dear friends who wanted to help us with our travel expenses and GAVE us their frequent flyer miles--God's amazing grace and provision!

"THE" phone call!

2002-07-08T22:00:00.001-06:00

July 8, 2002 (Monday) It was like any other Monday--until about 8:30 a.m. John and I drove in to work together, I arrived early, greeted coworkers and chatted briefly about their weekend adventures, and then got busy in my office.

Around 8:30 I answered my phone, on the other end of the line was Jodi S. from our adoption agency. Her first words were, "Connie, are you sitting down?" When I told her that I was sitting down, she replied, "Seriously, are you sitting down?" I assured her that I was in fact sitting down. Jodi proceeded by saying, "You both will need to be in Moscow on the 14th, on the 15th you'll fly from Moscow to Yekaterinburg where you'll meet the girls and sign the necessary paperwork. You'll spend the night in Yekaterinburg and return to Moscow on the 16th. You'll leave Moscow on the 17th and return to the U.S."

After hearing this little itinerary I casually commented, "In August, right?" Jodi then said, "No, July!", to which I responded, "THAT'S THIS WEEKEND!!!!!" Once the reality of this timetable sank into my brain I asked Jodi to repeat everything she'd already told me! We discussed various details, instructions regarding obtaining our visas, suggested flight plans, details about our host families in Moscow and Yekaterinburg, and various other matters.

I got off the phone and immediately called John at his office! He was just like me--in a state of shock and disbelief! We had known things could--and most likely would--move rather quickly at some point, but up until now we'd understood that our turn would most likely not come until August or September!

After telling John, I eagerly told my boss and coworkers--all of whom were very excited for us. My boss suggested that I take the rest of the day off, and I didn't argue. I tied up as many loose ends as possible in my office that morning and decided to have lunch with John--which normally was working out together at the YMCA nearby.

After our "working lunch" together, I headed for home and began to operate what I lovingly began to call "command central" because not only was I emailing and phoning friends and family to share our news, I was working the phone and internet trying to arrange flights for halfway around the world in less than a week!

Adoption Update - July 8, 2002

2002-07-08T22:00:00.000-06:00

I tried to email some of you from work today, but am not sure the message actually reached its many destinations!

I (we) received "the call" this a.m. telling us that we travel on our first trip THIS SATURDAY!

Of course we're busy getting things together and trying to work out the last minute flight details. We are beyond happy and excited, as I'm sure you can imagine. Please remember us in your prayers! ---Connie & John

Adoption update - June 2002

2002-06-09T22:00:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends,

We thought this would be a good time to send out an adoption update since our dossier (the required paperwork that introduces us to the Russian officials) is now in the hands of our agency, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, we have found another young girl we hope to adopt!

Our dossier arrived at our agency last Monday (06/03). After they review it, it will be forwarded to Russia (possibly next week) and eventually delivered to the officials in the region from which we hope/plan to adopt Olga and Nina!

Here’s what we know about Nina: she is 8 yrs. old, she likes to draw and color, she likes to dance, her favorite subject in school is math, she makes all A's in math, as a matter of fact, she is proud of the fact that she makes all A's in all her subjects at school, she likes "to make hairdos" on dolls, and she has been described as being very responsible and a leader, even among the boys!

The children at the orphanage are all at summer camp now and will be till late August. We understand that this will not necessarily delay or hinder our adoption process, but only time will tell. Once the regional officials review our dossier and determine exactly when both girls are officially available for adoption they will let us know when our first trip will be. It is very unlikely that we will receive more than a 10-day notice to travel. Wow! Won’t that be a hoot! We are still anticipating that our first trip will be in August which will last only about a week. We will go back and officially adopt the girls three to eight weeks later, that trip will last about three weeks.

Our hearts continue to bind to Olga, she is reportedly scared, as any 12 yr. old would be, but she is looking forward to her parents (us!) coming to get her! Here’s what we know about Olga: she just turned 12, she likes to read, she likes to crochet/knit and sew, she doesn’t like to ride a bicycle because she doesn’t know how (we’re looking forward to helping her learn!), she has a sweet, quiet, personality and tends to ponder things before acting, and she likes to take long walks.

Now that the major paperwork phase has past (there will be MORE paperwork later), we are focusing on getting things here at home ready for the girls. We’re clearing out our spare bedroom so we can paint the walls and make room in the closet for all the"girl stuff" for TWO girls! We’ve already received some very kind donations for our girls, a set of twin head and foot boards for their beds (we have located one inexpensive used twin mattress set, please let us know if you know of anyone wanting to sell a gently used set), and clothing for Olga! We continue to work on our Russian (we’re actually enjoying that!), we’re planning our approach to homeschool the girls, and we pray daily that the Lord will protect our girls till we can bring them home!

Oh, here’s a bit of trivia (that only an adoptive mother would mention!), Olga’s b-day is 6 days from Connie's b-day, and Nina's is 6 days from John's! Isn't that a hoot? As always, we appreciate your continued prayers on our behalf and our girls. Please pray specifically for their well-being physically and emotionally, pray for their spiritual condition that the Lord would even now prepare their hearts for the true gospel, that the Lord would be pleased to continue building in them a desire for a family, and that He would bind us together as a family as only He can do. Much love, John & Connie

Finding Nina

2002-05-11T22:00:00.000-06:00

Like our oldest daughter, Olga, we were first "introduced" to our youngest daughter, Nina, through email! An American couple was in the region adopting children from a different town, but kindly offered to visit our Olga at her orphanage.

While there, they videoed some of the girls--one in particular (Nina) who had been personally recommended to us by the orphanage director:

May 2002 - email from the Director (translated through an online translator):

"I advise to adopt Nina. To it(her) of 8 years. She(it) very well goes to school. Helps adults. She(it) very careful girl. The leader! Likes to play dolls and to sew him(it) clothes."

May 11, 2002 - email from the American couple:

"(Director) was also very happy that you are considering another girl. Her first choice for you was a cute little girl (I believe 7) named Nina. She has short brown hair cut into a bob with bangs. She wears glasses and is very proud of herself because she gets all 5's, or straight A's. She said her favorite subject is mathematics. She also likes to draw. You will see her in the video. There are some really great kids there...They each were rewarded a banana for doing the interview. It was so great!"

We quickly informed the orphanage director that Nina was our choice for daughter #2! For a week or more these two brief email messages provided ALL that we knew about "our" Nina, but we still knew that she was OURS!

After the American couple returned home to the States they sent us a copy of the video, and our Nina was the first one interviewed! In the video she was soft spoken and seemed very shy--my how that has changed over time! She recited a Russian poem, "Nasha Tanya" (which she still can recite!) and was very helpful with a younger girl who was later interviewed on the video.

This first "glimpse" of Nina has provided our family lots of cute ways and opportunities to laugh and smile together. For instance, in the video when asked about school Nina boasts that she gets "5's" (A's) "su-vrah-mah", which means "all the time". We quote her often when the occasion arises and she just smiles! We also like to prompt her a bit to get her to recite, "Nasha Tanya"--it's so cute to hear her speaking in Russian!

"Olga is in the hospital!" (little did we know that it was an attempted suicide)

2002-05-10T22:00:00.000-06:00

Another adoptive mom who was in regular contact with Olga's orphanage director sent me this email in early May 2002:

"Olga is in the hospital!" She went on to explain that she'd been told that Olga ate some cake from a recent celebration (probably "Victory Day" on May 9th) that had been left out and gone bad.

Then, the next day we received this in an email from an American couple adopting in the same region--they'd offered to go by our orphanage to meet our Olga and take some birthday gifts we sent and make some videos for us:

"We went to the orphanage again today. We could not see Olga as she was in the hospital with a stomach flu. (Director) said she will be fine."

We never questioned these explanations, we had no reason to do so at the time. However, you can imagine our surprise when Olga told us the real story just 5 or 6 months after becoming our daughter--this had been her second suicide attempt in just a few weeks. We can only assume that the Director did not want to alarm us or cause us to have any reservations about adopting Olga.