Olga's testimony

(Posted Jan. 2007) With Olga's permission, I am posting her testimony here. I have chosen to post this before I share details of our early days together as a family--which were indeed challenging, and bear great testimony to God's providence, mercy and grace. This is the testimony she wrote herself, and read--with a heavy Russian accent--to the congregation of our church (Feb. 2004) before her baptism which was joyfully carried out by my DH, her dad!

Hello, my name is Olga. Most of you know that my parents adopted me from Russia in September 2002.

Life in Russia was hard. When I was 4 years old, my father died. After that, my mother started selling drugs to make money. She was put in jail for that, and I had to live with my grandmother and uncles. For 10 years my family had lied to me about my mother being in jail and that my father had been killed. They told me that they had gone to another country. My uncles started doing drugs and sometimes I had to help them give themselves drugs.

When my mother got out of jail, I went to live with her and her boyfriend. They would leave me all day, and I would fall asleep waiting for them since they usually came home around midnight. Often I would go hungry. I would cry all day until it was red under my eyes and my eyes hurt bad. When they got home, her boyfriend would sometimes hurt me and my mother. There were even times when my mother would hurt me, sometimes real bad.

I lived with my uncles again for a little while, but one day they tricked me, saying that I had to go to the hospital. After the hospital, I was taken to the orphanage on December 29, 1999.
At first I thought that this might be good, since I had uncles and aunts in the same orphanage after my grandmother died. Some of the orphanage workers were nice, but others were mean to us. They would tell us that we were trash and that our parents didn’t love us so they threw us away like trash.

Sometimes they would put us with a family. One woman that I lived with would use bad language with the kids and use us like slaves. She would often feed us soup made with only water, salt, soup bones, and would put bread in the soup. She was supposed to use the government money to take care of us, but she used it to buy nice food for herself.

Later on, I found out what happens to kids after they leave the orphanage. Kids are put out on the street around 16 or 17. Some have to beg for food and many die from starving and from the cold. Girls usually kill themselves, knowing that life will be so hard when they get out. Some of them become prostitutes and are often killed. Many kids steal for food and are put in jail and raped or hurt by the police.

In May of 2002, shortly after I turned 12, I tried to kill myself. Things weren’t going well in my life. I had no hope and was not interested in living. When I woke up in the hospital, I was so scared and I began to think that God would never forgive me for trying to commit suicide. I stayed in the hospital for 6 weeks. But then in July, 2 crazy Americans came to meet me and came back in September to adopt me!

When I was living in Russia I thought that hurting or hating people was okay. Even after I came to America, I had a cold, stony heart and I treated my Dad badly. But I also thought that if you did more good things than bad things you can go to heaven. When I was little, I tried praying for my mother and me, that God would take care of us and give us food. I prayed that God would give us a miracle, but it never happened. When I was 9 or 10, I was baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church, and I thought that could save me, but it did not change anything in my heart. After being baptized, the Russian church gives you a cross to wear and you always have to wear it because they tell you if you don’t wear the cross demons can be in you. I heard about Jesus and the cross, but I thought it was just a story.

I realize now that God used all of those things to prepare my heart to receive Him. And it made me realize that I must receive Him now because I’ve learned that there may not be a tomorrow. God has also used things in my new life in America to prepare my heart. When I first came to America I was amazed at how many people in my family and in our church loved me even though they didn’t know me. I thought it was kind of weird, but also pretty cool. Soon after coming to America, I found that I loved coming to GBC and wanted to be like the people here.
During the last three months I’ve felt so bad about my sin. I have been sorry for my sin and sometimes I would cry over my sin until I fell asleep. When I talked bad to my Dad or Mom, I would feel so sorry and this would also make me cry at night. When I shared these things with my parents, they told me that maybe God was softening and changing my heart. And He WAS changing my heart!

Two weeks ago I told my parents that I wanted to be saved. So they talked to me to be sure that I understood the gospel. Dad read me the book “Ultimate Questions” to make sure that I understood the gospel. When I first came home to America I read this book in the Russian language, but I didn’t really understand or care about it then, because my heart was still hard and cold. Later that evening when I knew that I understood the gospel, I asked God to save me!
Since that night, I have noticed that it seems easier for me to obey my parents. I also have a desire to be more patient, I enjoy listening when others talk about God, and I like to read more about God. I like to spend time with God everyday. I know that He has forgiven me for all my sins and has given me hope and joy and peace!