I thought I'd start this little list of FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions) since most of them don't warrant a full post. I'll add to the list from time to time as things come to mind--please feel free to post questions in the comment thread, if it does not violate their privacy (or ours) I'll do my best to answer it!
1) Did your girls (ages 9 and 12.5 yrs. when we adopted them) know any English when you brought them home?
No, absolutely none. My husband and I started learning basic Russian in 2000 when we decided to adopt from Russia. We started with a program designed for parents adopting young children from Russia, so much of what we learned had to be adapted when it became clear that our children would be "older". Still, the basics helped a GREAT deal in those early days together--that and LOTS of charades!! :-) Ask me sometime about "etta, etta, etta..."
2) Did the girls know each other already?
Yes, they were both under the care of the same orphanage (which was actually a "shelter"). However, being 3.5 yrs. apart they had vastly different experiences, interests and friends.
3) Why did you give them American names?
We gave them "American" middle names because we understood--through other adoptive families, adoption agency officials, and our Russian translator--that most children "dreamed" of getting an "American" name . My husband and I decided that they would KEEP their given Russian first names.
We had names selected long before we made our first trip, but when we arrived on our second trip (which was when we officially adopted them) Olga asked through our translator if she could select her own middle name--with the aid of the orphanage director, she had one in mind.
We have repeatedly encouraged them to use whichever name they prefer, but for now they prefer to use their "American" names. Within our family we OFTEN use their Russian names and Russian nicknames (there are LOTS of those!!) as expressions of affection and familiarity--friends and extended family often are puzzled when we do this without even thinking!!
4) Why did you have to make TWO trips to Russia and spend FOUR weeks there?
Over the years the Russian govt. has defined and refined their adoption process. When we first began our pursuit to adopt from Russia we expected to make only one short trip to meet, adopt and bring home our child(ren). That was in the fall of 2000, and focused on a different region of Russia. By 2002 the laws/guidelines had changed and so had the region from which we hoped to adopt (that's another post in itself!).
So, we were required by the regional Russian govt. to first travel to Russia in order to meet our daughters and declare our intention/desire to adopt them. We accomplished that in a VERY FAST 7 days--whoa!
After we returned to the U.S., the Russian govt. selected a court date and told us when we could return to proceed with and finalize the adoptions. During our SECOND trip we lived in Russia for 3 weeks in order to comply with the federal and local requirements.
I must say this, it was both exciting and very challenging to be virtually cut off from our native language and culture for such a long time under such circumstances. Still, we would not trade those days for anything! Our host families (we chose to stay with Russian families and NOT in hotels) were gracious and attentive, and our translators did a great job of showing us around and giving us "history" and "cultural" lessons along the way. Not to mention that it gave our girls lots of opportunities to see sights they had never been able to enjoy.
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I also encourage prospective adoptive parents to immerse themselves in the culture of the country their child is coming from. We also stayed in Russian flats, walked the streets with Russian translators (and without them!), rode in their cars, took the Metro in Russia, and stayed away from expensive tourist hotels. The result was a wonderful understanding of where our children REALLY came from, and also some long lasting friendships with folks in Russia. I have met many other adoptive families who really have no idea what the Russian culture is all about, since they were isolated from it during their adoptions. This is sad.
Connie,
I'm so glad to have "met" you through the blogworld! I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. Since I do not know many "real life" friends who have struggled with infertility, it is good (in a weird way) to meet people who understand where I am coming from. And you would understand even more being a fellow pastor's wife! Small world indeed! :)
My husband did graduate from Southern Seminary in May of 2005. He took most of his courses by extension but took 30 hours of on campus credit, so we were in Louisville a lot. I do not know Dr. Cutrer, but I believe that maybe he co-wrote "The Infertility Companion" (I could be wrong on that; I'll have to check the title), which has been an immensely helpful book to me.
I will take some time to read your blogs. Adoption is such a beautiful thing--such a picture of the gospel, in my opinion! It is something my husband and I definitely want to do, whether we ever physically bear children or not. I look forward to reading about your experience.
Blessings, sister, and thank you for taking the time to write to me on my site.
-glenna-
jaclyn: thanks so much for stopping by!! Do you remember much Russian? Our oldest is still fluent, but it is definitely a challenge to keep that up since we don't have any Xian natives near-by.
I'd love to hear more details of your time in Russia. We are VERY familiar with SGA and have had numerous visits to our church by their staff--including Bob Provost who spoke in Russian to our girls just a few weeks after we brought them home!
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